alsoknownasshan

Alright since people have been asking me to continue to update my profile I will do so. Two of the major askers have been Joanna who actually semi-yelled at me to update it since she said it online, and Franco as you can see. So since my last entry so much shit has happened. I've been able to go home twice which has been amazing and I had a great time the weekend I went home with Mary for the Sweet 16 and the wedding and an equally great time over Thanksgiving break. So now that I'm back at school I just kicked it off by having a lovely swim practice and am officially dead tired and for the first time I want to go to be at around 10 tonight. I kinda screwed up big time this vacation though by making promises and not keeping them to people and I feel like a complete asshole about it. I shouldn't make promises that I'm going to hang out with people and then not actually hang out with them or forget to make a phone call because that's a really stupid way to make great people and best friends get pissed at you real fast. Swimming has been alright though I'm not doing completely horrible since I'm still dropping times but I dunno I kinda lost the liking for it and kinda have to get back in the swimg of things. School hasn't been great exactly either, all you kids in HS still better enjoy the time because this is some hard work. Nothing in HS can prepare you for being on your own and using time management which is one skill that I completely lack and am suffering because of it. I love all the people up here but I miss the people down on the Island and the whole environment but I love the night life of Albany, I hate these weird combinations of things. Since I just rambled about random shit I'm gonna leave on a good note and leave you all with an amazing quote made by my good buddy Dave Woodman.

I find it fascinating how much a woman will criticize herself. the nicer she looks the more she seems to find wrong with herself. The funny thing is that when a she is dressed up she may look nice but usually you can not see her true beauty. The grace and beauty of a woman tends to come out at the most unlikely of times. for example, when you see her in her pajamas getting ready for bed with her makeup wiped off, her hair messed up and she looks you right in the eye and smiles. Now, the truest beauty that a man can lay eyes upon is a sleeping woman, during sleep she is the most vulnerable, her face shows no worries, no stress, and she is completely at ease, it is nothing short of profound.

Franco is amazing...... enough said.

This page was made by a request of Franco for me to update my journal so I told him he'd be included.

Wow..... haven't done this in a while but some people told me that I ought to so I am. So school has been pretty sweet. I joined the swim team and although I haven't really swam since like 6th grade or so I think I'm not doing all that bad. I love the people on the team and this one girl is really cool and really cute. :). Classes have been alright and I though I was gonna bomb my first test but came out of it with an 85. Thank you Mrs. Hanlon for teaching me Business Law lol. The weekends are absolutely amazing in Albany and anyone who wants to visit is more than welcome to because it's insane. Missing people back home but I'm glad I'm out on my own experiencing life on my semi-own. I guess leave comments for me if you want me to talk about anything in particular. Visits are more than welcome and I hope all is well. Later.

So I walk in from class and I stalk profiles so I saw this away message on Maryl's screen name and I can now say that I've had a good day.......

I live on Long Island. I curse a lot and I say "yo" and say it often. I know what real pizza tastes like and I know that a bagel is more than a roll with a hole in the middle. Its a hero, not a hogie or a sub, and I wash it all down with soda, not pop or cola. 4 am is an early night out and all good nights must end at a diner. A beer can be known as a cold one and we can get it at all hours of the day or night. I have a dawg and I drink cawfee. I dont go down to the shore, its called the beach. When someone cuts me off they get the horn and the finger. I can hold my own in a fight and im not afraid to curse at anyone...I am from LONG ISLAND.

Thank god someone up here can understand what real life is all about.

So here in Albany at the College of Saint Rose I had my first three classes already and they seem to look like fun but I hope the this look won't be deceiving. I mean it sucks that I have 4 classes on Monday but then the rest of the week should hopefully breeze on by. MWF I have Business Law 1 from 7:50-8:40 so that kinda sucks since I'm up early and that's my only class on Friday. Then MW from 8:55-10:10 I have Exposition and Writing which hopefully won't be too horrible but I have three big papers which kind of sucks but whatever. After that on MW I also have Blue and White Collar Crime from 10:25-11:35 and that class is gonna be a pain with two research assignments, two 10 papers, and 25 one page papers....... yes, that should be fun. On TU and TH I have Principles of Financial Accounting from 11:30-12:45. And to finish up my Monday I have a College Algebra class from 4:30-7:10 which I can basically predict is gonna be a total pain in my ass. I guess school is going alright so far. I met one really cool girl from Sachem but she's going home tonight and then she said she'll be back tomorrow night so I'm happy. She's another Long Islander which is rare up here lol. Missing everyone back home and all you other crazy college kids whereever you are. Later.

So this was my second and LAST last night here in Mineola. I'm leaving for Saint Rose in a few hours and I'm feeling some mixed emotions. I'm excited as all hell to get out of here but with leaving, means not seeing all the friends and people that I love. I had a great night hanging out with my brothers and hanging out with the best friends in the world at Allison's house because I love every single person I saw tonight and it was just amazing. I'm going to miss everyone an awful lot especially since I was just starting to hang out with the 'Mineola crew' again lol. I had a great night and now everytime I hang out with any group of my friends I just love it and I think I'm really starting to appreciate how much I love all my friends more than ever and it's an amazing feeling. Well I'm done and I still have to pack some stuff so when I'm done talking with Janine I'll be upstairs for the last time for a few months and then I'm outta here. I'll see you all in a few months I guess. Marching band better kick some fucking ass this year or I'm gonna be really pissed off. Lol just kidding I don't really give a shit anymore. Night.

:x: name = Matthew Shanahan
:x: height= 6'0
:x: shoe size = 13
:x: hair color = brown with fading blonde highlights
:x: siblings = on younger sister, Jill

LAST...
:x: movie you rented = 50 First Dates..... awesome movie with great music
:x: movie you bought = Cabin Fever, Road Trip, and School of Rock
:x: song you listened to = Oasis - Wonderwall
:x: song that was stuck in your head = for some reason Ashley Simpson - Pieces of Me
:x: cd you bought = Dashboard Confessionals
:x: cd you listened to = The Starting Line
:x: person you've called = Ally Strein
:x: person that's called you = Pete Marson
:x: tv show you've watched = Olympics
:x: person you were thinking of = Allison since I was talking to her

DO...
:x: you have a crush on someone = yeah
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = oh yeah lol
:x: you think about suicide = nope
:x: you believe in online dating = actually there was this one time........... no just no
:x: others find you attractive = haha NO
:x: you want more piercings = nah I don't think that would be a good look for me
:x: you like cleaning = is this a trick question?
:x: you like roller coasters = Hell yeah!
:x: you write in cursive or print = Print

FOR OR AGAINST...
:x: long distance relationships = depends on how the relationship is, who the person is, and how far
:x: using someone = definatly against since it's mad fucked up
:x: suicide = only the man upstairs should take your life when the time is right
:x: killing people = against
:x: teenage smoking = under 18 against..... over 18, it's your life
:x: driving drunk = now I'm fully against it :)
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = no problem with it
:x: soap operas = if people like them....... that's their problem

HAVE YOU...
:x: ever cried over a girl = lol yeah..... more than anything else
:x: ever cried over a boy = when my best friend Brendan moved I think I might have shed a tear
:x: ever lied to someone = only if nesisary
:x: ever been in a fist fight = once in 4th grade I kicked the crap out of a 5th grade at the bus stop...... that's it though
:x: ever been arrested = nope

WHAT...
:x: shampoo do you use = Pert Plus
:x: shoes do you wear = sneaker - saucony shoe - saucony/skechers flip flop - reefs
:x: are you scared of = small spaces in dark places, dark places, spiders, snakes, deep water, and getting in big trouble

NUMBER...
:x: of times I have been in love?= once
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? = twice and three times if including by friends
:x: of hearts I have broken? = possibly one maybe
:x: of girls I have kissed? = more than 1..... less than 50
:x: of boys I have kissed? = none
:x: of girls I've slept with? = none
:x: of boys I've slept with? = none
:x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = more than 5
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?= a couple of times
:x: of scars on my body? = one on my knee and then nothing else that really stands out
:x: of things in my past that I regret? = you shouldn't live life with regret..... I've made mistakes but I'm living with them and I'm learning

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
:x: pretty - nope
:x: funny - every once in a while
:x: hot - haha heck no
:x: friendly - yeah I'd say so
:x: amusing - sure
:x: ugly - oogilie
:x: loveable - not really
:x: caring - yeah
:x: sweet - I dunno I think I can say some nice things to people on occasion
:x: dorky - oh yeah

FAVORITE:
5 letter word: boobs
actor/actress: Ewan McGregor / Natalie Portman
Candy: Snickers
Cartoon: Family Guy, Simpsons, Futurama
Tv Show: ESPN,
Cereal: Frosted Flakes, Honey Nut Cheerios, Chex, Cinnamon Toast Crunch
Chewing gum: Orbit
Color(s): green and blue
Color nail polish: none
Day of week: Friday and Sautrday
Least fave day: Monday
Flower: roses
Jello flavor: watermellon
Jewelry: my irish clatter necklace and a WTC memorial bracelet
Special skills/talents: I can do stuff
Summer/Winter: Winter
Trampolines or swimming pools: Swimming Pool with a Trampoline in it


|| Person who last.. ||

Slept in your bed: me
Saw you cry: can't remember
Made you cry: not sure
You went to the movies with: Antonia
Yelled at you: mom and dad
Sent you an email: dunno haven't checked my email but I don't get none

|| Have you ever.. ||

Said "I love you" and meant it?: yes
Gone out in public in your pajamas: yeah
Kept a secret from everyone: yeah
Cried during a movie: maybe once
Ever at anytime owned new kids on the block stuff: hey... they're collectors items
Planned your week based on the TV Guide: no way
Been on stage: oh yeah
Been to New York: I live here
Been to California: I'd love to go there on vacation
Hawaii: unfortunately not
China: no but I love the food
Canada: when I was younger
Europe: Sweden and the Netherlands
Asia: nope
South America: nope
Australia: nope
Wished you were the opposite sex: hell no
What time is it now?: 7:03
Apples or bananas?: apples
Blue or red?: blue
Walmart or target?: target
Spring or Fall?: spring
What are you gonna do after you finish this?: probably sit here for a little more and then play a video game
What was the last meal you ate?: my favorite meatloaf with corn and mashed potatos
High school or college?: probably college but I loved high school
Are you bored: heck yeah
Last noise you heard?: the water from the shower and a dog barking
Last smell you sniffed?: meatloaf (dinner)
Last time you went out of state/province?: a few weeks ago


|| Friendship/Love ||

Do you believe in love at first sight?: no that's when you get a crush
Do you want children one day & if so, how many?: 3-5
Most important thing to you in a friendship is: trust


|| Other Info ||

Criminal record?: nope
Do you speak any other languages?: spanish somewhat
Last book you read: The Natural
Name some of your favorite things in your bedroom?: My tv, stereo system, xbox, guitar
Thing you dislike about yourself the most: how I change so much
Worst feeling in the world: ignored
Who you love: friends and family
Who you miss: Jay who left for college and now I know why he's one of my best friends since I miss him so much


|| You ||

Nickname(s): Shanny, Shanners, Mattrick, Matty
Initials: MS (MJJS)
How old do you look?: 20
How old do you act: usually 18-20 but sometimes I'm immature and can act 14 or so.
Glasses/Contacts: Glasses
Braces: nope
Do you have any pets?: one dog, Daisy
You get embarrassed: yeah
What makes you happy?: simple little things done by my friends
What upsets you?: I dunno different things upset me at different times


|| Finish the sentence: ||

I Love to... do nothing
I Miss... who I use to be
I Wish... people were more mature
I Hope... I get a 4.0 throughout college so my parents can buy me a Lexus
I'm Annoyed by... annoying people
I Am... Matt
I Want to Be... a very wealthy and happy person
I Would Never... intentionally make someone else feel bad unless they deserved it
I'd Rather... be in Bermuda
I Am Tired of... the same things day after day
I Will Always ... be here for my friends


|| Have you ever.. ||

Thought you were going to die: yeah
Wanted to Run away: yes
Flunked a grade: nope
Skipped a grade: almost but I was young and they were stupid. it was only from Pre-K to Kindergarden though

I dunno lately I've been thinking alot about all of the friends I've had through out the past 4 years I've been in high school and who I miss and who I wish I was still close with and with the friends I have now and some of the friends that I've just lost from not keeping in touch with them. Tonight really had me thinking after I got off the phone with my 'best friends' who chose to do something retarded instead of hanging out with people that they've hung out with all summer. I mean this really shocked me because I never expected this to come from these people but I guess I was wrong, I guess somethings are just more valuble than a friendship. I've lost touch with certain 'friends' because of the same thing about 2 years ago and I don't know if the same thing will happen here but I know I've made a decision that I'm going to stick with and I'm gonna have a little experiment and see how my 'best friends' will take it and I'll leave it in their hands. I miss alot of my friends, especially the friends I had when I was a little freshman in high school. I saw Sean, Rebecca, Alexis, and I talked to Tina this summer and I mean I miss them because I loved hanging out with them and it took me a while to realize that. I loved hanging out with them and I wish I had kept in touch with them more because they're great people and certainly people that I'll never forget. It's just scary how things change, how people change, and what happens in your life that is just unexpected. One day I was telling Stacey how you change and you change and you don't notice it because it's not drastic through a few days maybe a few weeks but you look down the road and see two or three months ago and you really see a difference. Lately I've been looking down that road and I saw how I was 6 months ago and I hated myself for how stupid I was being and I started 'getting myself together' then 3 months ago and I still wasn't happy with myself and even a week or so ago I made a mistake but it's the last one I'll ever make because I'm happy with who I am now, and who I've changed into and I know it may have effects on others but I believe that this is how I'll be most happy and love my life and the people who are in it. Change isn't always good or bad...... it's just different.

I figure I'm sitting here......... I'm kinda bored....... might as well update. For those of you who didn't know I didn't make the soccer team and was the first one cut might I add. I dunno I guess it was a good thing that I gave it a shot even though I was brutally embarassed and now get made fun of constantly for throwing up all the time, but whatever I'll deal with the jokes, it's all in good fun ::cough assholes cough::. So I'm home again till the 28th I'm pretty sure and it's nice to be home and relaxing with all my friends again. I've been getting alot accomplished though. My mom and I cleaned my whole room from top to bottom the past two days and I'm pretty impressed. I was surprised on how well I could clean....... alright well with how good my mom could clean, but I was there for the moral support. I dunno what else to write about so leave me a comment so I can respond to something interesting. :). Later.

Tonight I invited all and any of my friends to come to my house to hang out since I'm leaving tomorrow and I'm glad I did. To recap on my last entry about how I said I've been a 'bad' friend I know it doesn't make up for a whole summer but I had the best night ever just hanging out with all of my friends at the same time and you all truely made my last night here a most amazing one. Oh and an apology goes out to Allison because I accidentally forgot to include her in the friends that I haven't hung out with as much in the last entry. I had a blast seeing all my friends and having them all hang out with each other and have a good time and just to have a place to go. I looked back on so many memories with most of my friends and I mean I didn't get teary eyed...... but I thought about it. The worst part of the night by far was the 'goodbyes' because it's not really a good bye it's more of a see you later..... as we say "I'll seeeeee youuuuu later bro!" I mean I have never had better times with better people then the times that I had with all my friends that came to hang out tonight. But it got rough when it got towards the end of the night when people started to leave and I think it started with Jess Donahue when she was crying and then not long after Nicole went to leave and was also crying and I kinda felt left out with these people crying while I'm not. Then when it got down to the end when it was me, my brothers (Pete, Jay, and Doug), Khurram, Elissa, Liz, and Antonia the night got depressing. I mean these are people that I'm so incredibly close with now and then I just have to pick up and go and not see them for possibly 3 months it's rough. I mean I think the longest I've went with out seeing Pete has been maybe 2 or 3 weeks, and that's from when I first met him in Kindergarden. Doug and Jay are my other two brothers that I hang out with everyday for the most part and I mean it's gonna suck not having these amazing people close to me just to hang out with or just to see and chat. Then Elissa has become one of my best friends by far and I think she is now on the verge of becoming one of the girls in my "sister's" club. Right now there are 3 girls that I consider to be my sister's that aren't my actual sisters......... like Jill. Jess Petraglia, Katie Hughes, and Antonia Bortone are the 3 girls that I consider to be my sister's because even if we don't talk all the time or hang out very often I know that if I ever have anything that I need to talk about I know they're there just like a sister and I hope that they feel somewhat the same way about me as I hope all of you do. Even if you don't think you're my best friend or if we don't hang out alot or whatnot.... I'm always here for you because a friend is a friend no matter what the situation may be. I'm going to miss all of you deeply as I go up to college to suffer for 2 weeks with no computer. Thank you to everyone who made my last night here in Mineola as a 'non-college' student one night that I shall never forget. I love you all!

I figured since I'll be leaving for college shortly and I might have some extra time on my hands I might as well get myself a little journal. I mean this could very possibly be the easiest way to keep everyone that wants to know stuff about me involved in my life so I don't get the same questions everyday from 30 different people. So college came faster than I thought and it kinda sucks because the summer just flew right by and although I loved this summer I also kinda hated it. This summer I learned alot about myself by taking some risks and making some decision but I'm also gonna learn from those experiences as well. I mean I do kinda think the summer sucked because I missed all my friends that I rarely hung out with in Mineola since I was in Levittown most of the time. Don't get me wrong I love all my friends but I mean sometimes it sucks when you can't just like hang out with all your friends or if you can't always make plans that involve more than one group of friends. I missed hanging out with Chris, Ant, Purdy, Chau, and Vega. And then I also missed hanging out with Jess P, N, R, and H and Katie P and H and Joanna, Kristina, and Genna. Not to forget that I also missed hanging out with Tom, Mike, Derek, Chris, and Pat.
I mean I guess change always occurs and I mean sometimes like this summer it happened so steadily that I didn't even notice how often I wasn't hanging out with certain people that I missed alot as opposed to those of who I hung out often with. I mean I love all my friends and I'm glad that I'm fortunate enough that I have the pleasure to call so many people my friend but at the same time it's tough because when I give them the title as a friend I have an obligation to hang out with them and I feel that this summer I let down alot of people and didn't spend as much time with some as I did with others. I mean I still had a great summer and had a great time whenever I hung out with who ever I did I still feel as though I didn't live up to the expectations of being a 'good' friend and to those I'm sorry.
Unfortunately I will soon be departing for The College of Saint Rose and thus why I have created this journal so I can try to keep all of you as updated as possible and if you give me something to rant and talk on for hours about please tell me because it's kinda fun.